Spoiled

I know I'm spoiled. Sometimes I like to pretend like I'm not and talk as though I've had a hard life but the truth is that I have never really wanted for anything. I have even managed to convince myself that my life is horrible from time to time, but there are times when I cannot deny the fact that I am 99 and 44/100ths percent spoiled rotten. Christmas is one of those times and there are days like today when I feel it even more than ever.

I just had dinner with a good friend of mine whom I've known for many years. I started the typical "how was your Christmas" conversation and asked what he got for Christmas. Come to find out his family wasn't able to exchange gifts this year because the economy has really effected his parents and his father hasn't had a job since summertime. He feels bad because he has a job while his parents and siblings are suffering (he's helping them out whenever he can) and I feel bad because I have a trunk-full of Christmas gifts yet to be un-packed. Of course I down-played my gifts, when he asked I only mentioned one present because the last thing I wanted to do was boast that my Christmas was as great as ever. (Granted: I'm never aware of the cost of Christmas on my parents so if this years' gifts were slightly less or more expensive that prior years I remain completely ignorant of that fact.)

Truth is, at Christmastime gifts are a big part of the celebration and I'm not really sure what would happen if there ever came a time when we had to completely call off all presents. Our gifting ritual is our biggest and most enjoyable tradition. It's like a game because every single present has a different name on it and when we get up in the morning (this year we woke up at 3:30 am) there is a list on every one's chair stating the order that presents are to be opened. Everyone has the same number of gifts which are opened one at a time so that everyone can "Oooo" and "Aaaah" over what everyone got. This years festivities lasted nearly two hours although it felt like ten minutes. We each had a gift on Christmas Eve (pajamas), two from "Santa" (a toiletries bag and separate fun gift), five from the parents, and one from each sibling. Even if I tried I don't think I could list every item I received and at this moment it makes me feel like a very silly, spoiled-rotten, uncaring person.

I wish I had done something more charitable for Christmas. Maybe helped out a family that needed gifts more than I did: it's not like I was lacking anything before Christmas rolled around. Tonight emphasized for me that there really is a lot for me to be thankful for: a great family, a job, dear friends, and the pride that I can pay off all my bills without worrying about cutting corners.